🚨 New Venture Alert: Same Sass, More Species 🚨

Introducing Soon To Be Mythical – Where Gallows Humor Meets Conservation Fashion

You know me—I’ve weaponized wit, stitched resistance into every hem, and turned political rage into wearable rebellion. Now I’m taking my dark humor and activism to a new frontier: endangered animals.

Meet Soon To Be Mythical, the latest brainchild from empowHER by Heidi. It’s a conservation-meets-comedy brand where critically endangered species don’t just survive—they headline punk bands, cry into mandolins, and shred their way through extinction. It’s tragic. It’s hilarious. It’s painfully necessary.

🎸 Our Collections: Loud, Wild, and Weirdly Accurate

Each collection features a different endangered species reimagined as a musical misfit—because if the planet’s going down, it might as well go down screaming.

• Anarcho-Punk Tasmanian Devil: Screaming lead vocals while battling contagious cancer and habitat loss

• Death Metal Shoebill Stork: Towering rage and prehistoric vibes, perfect for headbanging through deforestation

• Mandolin-Sobbing Red Panda: Soft, sad, and strumming through the last bamboo grove

• Synthwave Vaquita: Neon-lit extinction with a beat you can’t ignore

• Grunge Kakapo: Flightless, nocturnal, and emotionally unavailable—just like your favorite '90s icon

Each design is printed on ethically sourced, 100% cotton tees that feel as good as they look. And yes, they’re unisex—because extinction doesn’t discriminate.

🐾 Why It Matters

This isn’t just merch. It’s a movement. A portion of every purchase goes directly to nonprofits with boots on the ground—those doing the gritty, unglamorous work of saving species from the brink. No performative greenwashing. Just real support for real conservationists.

💀 Why It’s Tragically Perfect

• Gallows humor meets ecological truth

• Bold designs that spark conversation and action

• Wearable activism that funds actual change

• Perfect for punks, misfits, and anyone who’s cried over a climate report

🦇 Perfect For:

• Animal lovers with a taste for irony

• Conservationists who prefer their activism loud and stylish

• Fans of music, misfits, and mythical creatures

• Anyone who wants to wear their rage, wit, and compassion on their chest

🌍 Join the Mythical Movement

If you’ve ever wanted to wear a shoebill stork in a death metal band or a red panda playing a mandolin while crying softly into a deforested void… this is your moment.

👉 Follow Soon To Be Mythical – Dark Humor & Conservation Apparel for rare species, gallows humor, and merch that funds actual conservation efforts. Because if we’re going down, we’re going down fashionably—and fighting extinction with style.